Signs

This past summer when I was pregnant with Alyssa we took Aubrie to the drive in. I remember us going inside the little building with the concession stand. We waited in the winding, long line forever. We kept passing a man with Down syndrome. He kept staring at us. I thought it was sweet at first but then he just kept staring and it started to make me a little uncomfortable. He would watch Aubrie and smile and he would stare at my stomach. These encounters always made me feel uncomfortable when I was pregnant (....obviously so...) but at one point we paused in line right next to each other and I looked at him and smiled. His face changed. He got a really intense look on his face and just stared so deep into my eyes that I had to finally break the eye contact and look away. It shook me up a little and I have never forgot that day, that moment. It is one of the first things I thought about after Alyssa was born. I believe there is something out there, the world connecting in strange ways. I believe in signs and the afterlife and strong spirits. I believe my Alyssa has something extra special in her soul, along with with every other person with an extra chromosome. The wonders of the world. Different, but more alike then different. I will never forget that man.




And for what it is worth I saw people with Down syndrome ALL THE TIME when I was pregnant and have not saw a soul since Alyssa has been born. Bryan and I look for them now and have never...ironic?




The day I found out I was pregnant I came across a blog about a woman who had the same thing happen to her. An unexpected birth. I read it my whole pregnancy. I fell in love with her daughter and how absolutely beautiful she is. It prepared me. Life can be beautiful and different. Life can be happy and different.




My sister Kellie and I always talk about our "psychic" connection. It's pretty strange. Well, the morning I was in labor my Dad called Kellie to tell her I was in the hospital. She was at work and told my Dad to call her when Alyssa was born. At around 8:40am she was driving and said she all of a sudden got an intense feeling on her heart and she got hot and she goes, "Katie and Bryan's baby has Down syndrome." (Alyssa was born at 8:17am and we believe at 8:40 was probably the time that Bryan told the rest of our family the news or when my OB confirmed my suspicions) She then shook the feeling off and told herself that was ridiculous. Twenty minutes later she was with a client and her phone rang, she didn't answer it in the middle of therapy but called my Dad back when she left and he told her the news....




So yes, I do believe in signs.




I came across this quote and just fell in love with it.

"Don't let the what-if's rob you of the joy of the what-is!" I love that.




A lot of the time we get an "I'm sorry..." from people when they find out that our daughter has an extra chormosome. (Doesn't that sound ridiculous, I'm sorry your child has an extra choromosome!) That bugs us. Don't feel sorry for us. We don't need your pity. Yes, there are struggles and yes there are bad days. But don't think we sit around feeling sorry for ourselves every day. We don't. We ARE happy. We have two, beautiful daughters who fill our hearts with so much joy. If only everyone could know what this is like. If only everyone could learn so much in so little time. It's a profound experience. Profound it is.




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pro·found   /prəˈfaʊnd/ Show Spelled







[pruh-found] Show IPA




adjective, -er, -est, noun




–adjective




1. penetrating or entering deeply into subjects of thought or knowledge; having deep insight or understanding: a profound thinker.




2. originating in or penetrating to the depths of one's being; profound grief.




3. being or going far beneath what is superficial, external, or obvious: profound insight.




4. of deep meaning; of great and broadly inclusive significance: a profound book.




5. pervasive or intense; thorough; complete: a profound silence.




6. extending, situated, or originating far down, or far beneath the surface: the profound depths of the ocean.




7. low: a profound bow.




8. deep.

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Lovin' Life