Real Feelings Here

How do I begin? I have never been a fan of prejudice, in any form. I can’t stand when people make racist, ignorant comments. I can’t stand sexism and I can’t stand people picking on the underdogs. I’m not saying I spent all my time doing charity work and that is what I lived for, but I sure as hell never made fun of people for something they couldn’t help. Sure, I use to throw around the word “retard”, I didn’t mean any harm by it and I never directed it towards a person with an actual disability, but I also didn’t know how offensive it is, even when I’m not doing that. Call it my ignorance. One of those things you don’t know until you are in those shoes. Unfortunately, I am and while I try and give people the benefit of the doubt. While I try and let offensive things that are said slide without speaking out, how much can I take? How many times can I talk to someone and hear them call people “Retards”. Do you realize you are talking to the parents of a child with special needs? Or are you to self involved to realize that? How many times can I quietly sit and hear someone talking about how their children are/need to be PERFECT. How many times can I hear in someone’s voice, see in someone’s actions how SCARED they are of my daughter? How scared they are that “it” will happen to them? How they won’t LOOK at MY DAUGHTER. How they can’t muster a NICE comment. It disgusts me. It makes me realize how self absorbed some people are. Some people who are suppose to care. How can you not have a filter when you talk? Everyone slips up. Everyone says things they don’t mean but when it happens over and over again when is it time to bring it to someone’s attention to make them STOP? When do I say, “Hey, you are REALLY hurting my feelings here!” It’s amazing. The love I feel for my child is just like the love most mothers feel for their children. That you would die for them in an instant love. The pure, raw, makes you cry when you think about it love. I feel that same way for my daughter, my daughter who is different. I have all those feelings and then the added feelings of the fact that I can’t take it away. I can’t take away her challenges, I can’t control how other people look at her, and I can’t protect her from how cruel this world is sometimes. So it really hurts to feel as if I have to protect her from the people I was closest too. Those people who I expected to love my child just as they love my other child. Unconditionally. To stop looking at her as different. Stop acting like she doesn’t exist. Stop judging her. Stop analyzing her and just treat her as would you would treat her if she wasn’t different. To think about what you say and how it makes others feel. To check your actions because we notice. We notice everything. And maybe you feel as if I am being too sensitive and you are entitled to feel that way, as I am entitled to feel this way. Just ask yourself, how you would feel in this situation? Would you want someone to say offensive things towards your child? Would you want people to ignore your child? Would you want people to medically analyze your child? Would you be sensitive? Yes?